OCD…curse or superpower?
After being diagnosed with OCD when I was twenty years old, I was thrilled to have a name for what I was suffering from, but at the same time, I felt labeled by a diagnosis that I didn’t know much about. The only person I knew who had OCD was extremely miserable with her symptoms and lived her life in the bubble she created out of fear. I didn’t know at the time that this diagnosis didn’t have to mean a life full of anxiety-inspired limitations. There were no podcasts or influencers to normalize my diagnosis and help give me strategies.
After publishing my book in 2021, I began meeting more people who also have an OCD diagnosis. Some would contact me when I spoke on a podcast, and others would email me after reading one of my blogs. They’d often tell me how happy they were to read my story, given my success with OCD treatment. I started to notice a common thread with everyone I’ve met along this journey; people with OCD are delightful!
Obviously, every person I’ve met on this journey is unique, and these common threads are separated by varying personalities and life experiences, but overall, every person I’ve met who has OCD has shared these common characteristics: they are kind, overly conscientious, thoughtful, and compassionate to a fault. Sure, some have needed reassurance that I knew I could not indulge for their own good, but even so, there is a deep-seated love of others that flows from all their hearts.
Recently, I saw a social media post stating that OCD should never be called a superpower, but instead was described as a curse to be endured. I understand the influencer’s perspective, but find myself pausing with doubt (not the OCD kind!) that maybe she was partially wrong in her negative perspective. I grew up hearing from my professor father and caregiving mother that our greatest strengths are all too often our greatest weaknesses. When sin entered the world, it tainted everything, but God continues to use even painful things for our good and His glory. If that’s true, then that means even OCD can be used by God in our lives in glorifying and wonderful ways. Stating that fact doesn’t ignore the hardships that go alongside OCD or erase the damage it can do. Instead, by changing the way we look at this extremely exhausting diagnosis, we can see that OCD attaches to people who have great strengths that are deeply connected to our weaknesses.
People with OCD tend to be hyperaware of their thoughts and actions. These thoughts are commonly paralyzing and terrifying, causing rumination and other compulsions to occur in search of relief. Some fear the detailed thoughts they have about harming their own child, while some can’t unsee the image of a traumatic experience that never happened but feels real. Some can’t stop fearing that they will get other people sick, while also fearing that they will become sick themselves. Another common fear is worrying about who (or what) someone is attracted to and what that means about who they are, even though the thoughts are unwanted. OCD thoughts are creative, going places that shock and terrify the sufferer. How could these fears ever be considered a strength? Certainly, such awful fears can only be considered curses at best. Could God use this type of suffering for glorification and sanctification? There is no way this is a superpower!
We read in 1 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Wait, we’re supposed to boast in our weaknesses?
This verse states very clearly that God can use any weakness in Christ. His power rests on us when we boast in Him. That tells me that even my OCD is being used by God in great ways, and even though the diagnosis can be extremely hard, there are also wonderful realities that come attached to these types of struggles. People with OCD care deeply for others, to a fault. They are often deeply compassionate, which is why the fears and thoughts are so distressing. OCD attacks what we care about the most, and those are often really good things! Family, good health, being considered a “good” person (which we aren’t…which is why we need Jesus), making things right with others, and worrying about what God thinks are all categories that point to the hearts of people who suffer deeply because of hearts rooted in love.
Being a believer with OCD means we are commanded not to look at our diagnosis of OCD as a curse. Our OCD is, in fact, a superpower, used by God to teach us about Him while we love Him and others well. We live in a fallen world where everything good is simultaneously hard, so why would OCD be any different? As a believer with OCD, I can feel empowered to live my life confident that God can and will use my OCD in amazing ways, even when that feels impossible. Also, we can lean into our weaknesses because God can and does work to make them our strengths!
